First trimester — your job in three words

Steady, soft, present. That's it.

In the first trimester she's running on a hormone storm you cannot see — and exhaustion that doesn't show up in photos. Your job isn't to fix anything. It's to make the small things easy.

• Be the food finder. Hand her snacks before she has to ask. Ginger, salty crackers, cold water.
• Take over a chore she usually does. Quietly. Don't announce it.
• Book the first antenatal visit yourself. One thing off her plate.

The deepest thing you can do this trimester is not say much, and say it kindly.